Just opened my Bible to this page with my eyes on Psalm 126 and verse 5.
Those who sow in tears will reap in cries of joy. Psalm 126.5
What book could you read over and over again?
In all honesty, I probably haven’t read the entire Bible. However, I always know where it is, and I routinely use it when depressed. I’ll open it up at random and read whatever pops out.
This was in high school, and I went to a parochial one.
Now I’ve heard priests say how you shouldn’t pop open the Bible and read the first thing you see. He then said, “It was like using the Bible, like a Magic 8 Ball.”
Now as an adult, I thought about this comparison for a while.
I figured if I was depressed, I could open a Bible and read a few verses, bringing up my emotions, demeanor, and overall conduct. I believe this was not bad or treating the Bible in a childish or frivolous manner.
Besides raising my spirits, I could be inspired to behave in a moral manner.
No 8-ball messenger can raise spirits, change behavior, or found entire denominations.
I was ready to complain to my CVS pharmacy, its company, and on social media. For six days, I tried getting an extremely important medication. On the sixth day, I would be out of my med, and therefore I was determined to switch my pharmacy and register my complaint with all of CVS.
My medicine treated my epileptic seizures, and there is one thing I fear more than anything are my seizures. I cannot tell anyone what the terror I’ve felt.
One time, I was walking along a busy street, blacked out, collapsed for some unknown period of time, and when I regained consciousness I was strapped down to a gurney. I “came to” looking up at two paramedics and mumbled, “What’s going on?” I was in an ambulance.
Yes, I made plans to go to whatever extreme was needed to get my meds. It was obvious to me that my store was out of stock for my med. All I wanted was to find out if I could get my meds at the only other CVS in my city
First, I called the store and was put on hold for a half-hour. I could overhear that the store was busy. (I honestly sat on hold for 30 minutes, just so I could have something else to scream about.) Then I tried to write an email to the company itself. I don’t know what I did to prevent my bitchfest from going through. My anger was on a countdown to blasting off. I know I would overreact and then the depression would start because I was an a-hole.
Regardless, I next called the 800 number to complain up a storm.
This is where the happy ending comes around. The operator sounded very understanding and helpful. Before I even said anything about getting my med from the other store, she suggested it! She suggested what I wanted!
I thanked this woman repeatedly and I suspect she doesn’t even know how important that it is for me. At the end of the story, I got my meds in 30 minutes. The same amount of time I planned on ranting about.
Believe me, I feel much happier writing a compliment instead of broadcasting a complaint. In negative times, giving compliments for simply doing a good job, can make everyone feel better. Now when I get depressed, angry, or lonesome, I’ll try to compliment someone.
I lived in Managua, Nicaragua, where I developed my love for “arroz con frijoles” (rice & beans).
My favorite thing to cook?
Kids drank milk out of the bottom of plastic bags.
I was in Nicaragua in 1990, where I worked with the Franciscan Mission Service. I specifically worked in refugee camps. The revolution was over. Daniel Ortega and the Sandinistas were voted out of office. In fact, my plane landed in Managua, Nicaragua, the day Violeta Barrios de Chamorro took office.
The conflict had ended but the misery still hung in the air. Managua is on the western half of the country, and I was told that the refugees fled the war in the eastern half.
There was one aspect I noticed in Nicaragua that has never left me. Everyone seemed to be physically fit while they seemed to only eat beans, rice, and water.
It gave me a different view on life and what is truly needed to have a satisfied life. I try to remember those days when I get down and depressed over material things.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia, is an American author and motivational speaker.
This was in 1990, and I was working in Managua, Nicaragua, shortly after the conflict with the Sandinistas and the Contras.
I repeated Psalm 23.4 as I walked through the refuge camps of rickety, dilapidated huts. I had been wormed by a Priest, Brother, and coworker about the danger of going alone. Back in the U.S., I have often read quotes just to get my mind off of whatever was bothering me.
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” – Swedish Proverb
You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. – Olin Miller
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. Josh Billings
‘Don’t you worry, and don’t you hurry.’ I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me. – Mark Twain
Peace of mind: The contentment of the man who is too busy to worry by day, and too sleepy to worry at night. Woodrow Wilson
Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create. – Roy T. Bennett
“That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.” – Chinese Proverb
My biggest goal became a huge challenge and towering fear.
My inner dialogue forced me to put my future outcome in perspective.
I told myself, “Ted don’t worry! If this thing sucks and no one sees it, no one will care. There is nothing that you’ll lose. At least, you’ll learn about the Net.
This is about my political-know+it-all video site. It is dubbed with Ted Michael O’Donnell . Using my middle name so I might sound slightly more intelligent. While I’m just doing this on my phone and trying to make a YouTube channel, I know it is highly unlikely anything will happen. Why am I stressed.
It’s simply voters making promises to elected officials. If the politicians don’t request an open IRS audit then they will not receive a vote from them.
Some details of my scheme will be at the end, for anyone who cares.
Anyway, just making a simple video for myself terrified me because I had only done it a couple of times. (I’m sure most teenagers on TicToc would be laughing their ass off at me. Well I’m 57 and trying something new.)
My videos had only been seen by a couple of people. I feared I would just look like an idiot. After some disastrous clips, I learned a few things that I should not do. I also realized that practice grows confidence, which evolves into quality.
This blog deals with my depression and anxiety. The point to this post is just how I went about wrangling in my squireling negative thoughts. Those visualizations almost sent my anxious brain spiralling into a pit of depression.
I was successful. I stopped my erratic thoughts by evaluating the possible outcomes of my planned videos. I came to two conclusions in pursuing my goal.
First: It would go viral and I would become some kind of hero.
Second: The videos will be ignored and go absolutely nowhere.
Oddly enough, I feel compelled to try to encourage citizens to make promises to their elected officials. The stress is being caused because I’m afraid of looking like an idiot. Big deal.
The point to this post is simple: When worried or anxious I have found a few questions helpful for myself and my state of mind.
Put things in perspective & lighten up.
THE POLITICAL SIDE TO THIS POST:
Entangling two phrases with the national political decision, I formed a very simple tactic for the U.S. voters who don’t trust Biden or Trump and most of their Federally Elected Officials.
Without question, “America Needs to be Great Again”. Plus if America is United it will stand, but if divided it will fall.
The registered voters need to join against federally (and possibly state) elected officials. This plan would demonstrate which politicians deserve to be supported.
I asked myself the greatest times in the U.S. history and found four answers. But my estimation, the best times would be the Revolutionary War, the 1930’s and the Great Depression/New Deal, Pearl Harbor and WW2, and briefly after 9/11. All in all, a common enemy unifies the U.S. bringing the country to its greatest.
Essentially, this plan is to try to force the elected officials to prove that they deserve to be. In fact, elected officials would prove how “legal” they are.
I carved this one myself. It was the Daily Prompt [or something like that], which asked who is the historical figure I would want to see. At first I thought of Jesus. Then I suddenly realized that Jesus didn’t do anything wrong, but Frank was a partyier. Some pretty shady tales followed after him. How many are actually true, I have no idea.
Now, I was a good little boy overall, as far as Ma & Pa knew. Then I got to the informed college, and bored out of my skull. I actually didn’t want to go to college because I didn’t know what to major in and it seemed like a terrible waste of money. I started out in journalism but then discovered I had to take algebra. I switched over to Political Science.
Now Ma didn’t understand and grilled me all the time, asking me what I was going to do with such a lame degree like that. On her death bed, I smiled, saying, “Ma, I got my deficient degree, cause I could Ace every test while being completely hung over.”
Realistically, my Major was Long Islands Teas & the like and Minored, practically duel-majored, in Fornicating. For example: the first party I attended, I oozed down next to a cute little African American gal who was half awake on a love seat. Now, I just wanted to pass out. However, I can only guess she wanted some kind of a raunchy rodeo.
Please note: I was very unbiased with my services, any size, race, orgin, fashion, musical taste, communist, marxist, capitalist female, especially when trashed.
“You are so beautiful,” she slobbered at me.
I detected her with oily eyes, ‘sounds like my aunt,’ I thought, before slipping my arm around her. Then I plastered our faces together. She caught me with a mutual 1st base hit. I was so zombiefied, it didn’t dawn on me that I could have ended up licking her face.
Now here’s the point: St. Francis of Assisi, like St. Agustine of Hippo, were quite the party boys. Augustine even had an illegitimate son. This is more certian, since it was in his Confessions. He went on to say, “Give me chasity and continence Lord, but not yet.” I could relate to that one. I actually considered becoming a priest. A Norwegian blonde killed that career course.
Basically every dead beat, like myself, are able to have a transformation.
Thankfully I could relate to that one too. I sobered up. Started praying daily & turned my life around. The beads on my wrist are actually prayer beads that I carved myself.
I started volunteering at homeless shelters, food banks, and church run thrift stores. My life turned around and I started feeling better, more confident, honest, less worried/anxious, less stressful, fortunate, healthy, and grateful for whatever came my way. I doubt that I’ll ever be a saint, though.
Obama, Biden, Trump, Polanski, Clinton, or Harris, who said the above quote.
Which of these politicians and president said, “May we as Americans never forget the power of prayer and the greatness of our creator.” Believe it or not it was Donald Trump. It is probably questionable any politician actually believes this. However it’s indisputable that now is the time to pray for the state of the United States.
Also when I’m upset and a moody wreak, prayer puts my mind to rest.
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. John F. Kennedy
First off, I’m not a mental professional. This is provided as only my experience with my mental illness.
I, currently, see a whole host of mental health professionals who returned my life from the grave.
I read this quote, “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly. John F. Kennedy.” to one of my mental health professionals, and she smiled, saying, “Getting out of your comfort zone.”
On a near daily basis I receive compliments on “My Rosary“. Some have asked if I sell them.
I swear her comment of “getting out of your comfort zone” was accidentally a message to me. In truth, I need to make these bracelets instead of writing blog posts and distributing them who ask if I sell them.
In 1999, I started carving “My Rosary” to keep me busy as I was battling my addiction to alcohol. I prayed as I carved them and then when I would string them on hemp macrame cords, I also made. Later I used them for meditation.
After a number of years, I concluded “Prayer Defeats Addiction, at least for me.
It is roughly based on the Roman Catholic Rosary but also Tibetan prayer beads, as the beads can slide. The sliding aspect allows for the meditating.
Also when I’m apt to fall asleep in an inappropriate time or location, I will slide my beads simply to keep my hands busy.
I call this bracelet, “My” Rosary, because there were corresponding prayers to each bead. As I decide what prayers and Bible verses used, they’ve changed and now far exceed the number of beads used. Since they do not follow a preset sequence and therefore allows for revisions.
One thing that has always amazed me is that no one has ever asked why I wear them on a daily basis. It’s just as well that I was never questioned for my devotion to them. As the corresponding prayers have evolved over the past 24 years, so has my reasons for wearing it.
One reason stems to when I originally prayed while making them. I realized that my mind was focused on something other than drinking. I dreamed of some how getting the whole world to pray more or at least for those who need to pray more but are unaware as to how to start. An example of a person who needs to pray more is a narcissistic, drunken, womanizing player, who evolved into a lifeless self-medicating, depressed, zombie who hates himself more than anyone or anything else in this life. Someone like who I had been, but when I started praying daily, my life improved greatly.
Of course, telling a tale like this online is relatively easy due to the invisible nature of the audience. If I retold my autobiography to someone face-to-face, I would be nervy, queasy, shaky, and completely out of my comfort zone. I’m 100% sure that I will fail diabolically despite my prayers. My attempt will be made, all the same.
My plan is to just give my carvings away and as patrons select what they want, I will be explaining to them that there is no actual charge, accompanied with the story of my life. I will conclude with encouraging others to concoct their own Rosary and if mine is followed to do so only on the short run Financially, I will only allow for gifts from such fans but no set charge.”
Will it work? No.
Will I look like some bizarre, Bible-Thumping, Holy Roller? Yeah.
Two quotes will always be remembered. The first is “Those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.
Then the second is:
Specifically when confronted with a critical, disapproving gaze, I hope I’ll remember, “With men, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible.”
The point of this story is very simple so I’ll make it fast. If you find yourself just thinking about committing suicide in any way, shape, or manner AND cannot STOP yourself from doing it, get help immediately.
One place for help is 988. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and is now active across the United States. People can can call, text, or chat with 988’s trained counselors that are part of the existing Lifeline network. It is: https://988lifeline.org/current-events/the-lifeline-and-988/
Get drunk and then take a dive.
That was the plan, but there is one thing actually worth noting. It took probably a year and half for me to get worn down to make that plan. During that year, I had some horrible events and nothing to look forward to. There was one thought, mental chant, or inner mantra that I couldn’t stop. I often stood in front of a mirror telling myself:
It is ugly, but true.
My mentality and self-respect plummeted with each devastating event. This damaged mental state lead predictably to desires of death, and dreaming of ways to take my life without it obviously being a suicide. Questionable was good in my mind so that people would be forced to wonder if I did it on purpose.
“No one would care,” (if I jumped in the River) I constantly told myself.
I prayed and immediately received an answer. Many people would care, leading me to seek help. Today, I stop negative thoughts about myself instantly.
Today, I recognize that such negative thoughts can lead to a nervous breakdown like I endured. I would encourage anyone believing they have no redeeming value should find help at that time and not later.
True story, I came into work and a co-worker innocently asked, “How are you?”
“I feel like shit.” I muttered. “Like a zombie.” From her response, I must have sounded like the “undead”.
Her eyes flew open. Her mouth ajar open. “WHAT!?” spewed out.
Now I’m “Swell!” “Fabulous!!” “Fantastic!”
For me acknowledging my state of mind, body, or conscious is the first step in improving a problem.
Once alone, I faced my depressed state. Currently however, I’m really not facing depression
In years past, I kept a journal of all the daily problems I had. Now I discuss the drama that crops up in my life with friends. I’ve found that it’s harder to tell someone the issues plaguing me, which provides more a relief and piece of mind.
“Spend eighty percent of your time focusing on the opportunities of today, rather than the problems of yesterday.” Brian Tracy is a Canadian-American motivational speaker
On the 25 of April, 1990, my plane landed in Managua, Nicaragua. This was the exact date Violeta Chamorro became the first female president of Nicaragua, and marked the end of the Contra – Sandinista War.
The war was officially over but the suffering was still zealous. I was sent by the Franciscan Mission Service, not the C.I.A. It was a three year assignment to assist a parish. I failed. I only lasted three months. The priests essentially didn’t know what to do with me, or I was just extremely impatient. There is no shortage of priests in third world nations, and volunteers such as myself weren’t needed. I started visiting refugee camps on my own, despite receiving warnings not to do so.
What I saw down there will never leave me, I couldn’t forgive myself for being a miserable failure. One little guy is what made the difference.
He took my hand and led me to his an elderly relative, who I guessed was his grandmother. She was lying motionless on a dirt floor of a scrap wood shanty. All I could do was force a smile on my lips and mutter that I wasn’t a priest and that my Spanish was bad. She communicated by smiling and slightly nodding. It seemed like this kid wanted me to give her last rights. I wasn’t sure and didn’t know what last rights actually were anyway. I then prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary, and a number of spiritual requests in English. They seemed to be happy enough and continued praying, as I stood up to leave.
If they were happy, it was no reflection on how I felt about myself. Once outside and alone, I did something that stated when I was a kid. I stared up at the sun and prayed. I then had a slight seizure.
As a child, I was scared staring at the sun, so I prayed for help.
I had heard of a Native American tribe that awarded feathers for a man who could stare at the sun for an hour. As an adult, I doubt this seriously as I have not found anything to verify it. As a child, I had been told that it can cause blindness. The first time I did this I was scared and prayed for help.
Looking up at the sun and praying always made me feel like I had special connection with God. Quite often when I prayed in this way, I had an aura or simple focal seizure or at least as a child I remember having that experience many times. However, my memory cannot be trusted due to my age as to the number of times that this sensation occurred. It may easily be a feeling of deja vu brought about by the psychic focal seizure itself. (I’m basing my personal assessment of my own condition on articles I’ve read, particularly from the John Hopkins Medicine website. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/epilepsy/focal-seizures)
Regardless of the validity of my personal assessment of my situation, I felt certain that God was telling me to return to the U.S. At the time, I had no idea what was wrong with my brain but I knew there was a problem. When my plane landed in Houston, TX., U.S., I told myself don’t leave the U.S. until you know what is wrong with you.
Once home, I crawled into a fifth of vodka for two reasons. I was a failure, letting that little boy down and I only lasted three months instead of a three year assignment. Secondly, I also felt as if I could drink my strange sensations away which is known as self medicating.
I told myself that if I never have those feelings when drunk then just stay drunk. Later I was told that alcohol could easily be a trigger for seizures
While I agree with Brian Tracy a 100%, and his statement, “Spend eighty percent of your time focused on the opportunities of tomorrow instead of the problems of yesterday.” I would simply add, “… and right now.”
Dwelling on problems from any time period with a negative attitude is bound to produce even worse outcomes. My dismal outlook on life and self image never improved even after sobering up. I haven’t drank again, but when I was going through my divorce and coming close to being fired. I felt like the worst person on earth and prayed for death. I constantly told myself, “You’re so f###ing stupid.” “No one will care if you die.” “Just jump in the river and swim to New Orleans.” I lived in Kansas City, Mo., at the time.
In time, I chose to seek help and stopped dreaming of getting drunk and taking a long, deadly swim in the Missouri River.
Now, I try to remember and advocate what the Buddha said.
I’m a Christian but he said it better than I could. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha
Likewise throughout the day, I routinely tell myself “Don’t beat yourself up,” & then “Don’t be an asshole.” At one time, I lost my temper with customers who argued with me and was extremely rude to kind co-workers. Knowing: My mindset makes the difference.
YOU personally can help me quit. Type me a comment for how to quit smoking like:
This will also help my mental health {in the end}.
NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL TYPE A RESPONSE EVEN IF I LIE. There’s no way in heaven or hell that I would sprinkle fire spice on cigarette butts.
Being busy (answering comments) burns the need for nicotine. On the opposite end: Boredom & carelessness concludes in countless cigarettes.
The first time, I badgered folks on a local social network, I learned about people who used hypnosis., which I’ll try.
I was also inspired to try something else. Gathered a half dozen photos of smoking induced cancer tumors on human bodies. I put a clear photo of it on my lock screen wallpaper. Every time, I pick up my cell, I’m forced to see my nasty future if I don’t quit.
Edited to prevent censoring.
Also, did a WordPress search and discovered foods that fight nicotine. Will do future research before publicizing them.
My two points are just what I concocted for how I’m preparing to quit. 1. Staying busy doing how I’m quitting on social media. 2. Nasty photos of my future if I don’t quit. Building a foundation and to know what to expect. From my last preparation is a piece of “art”.
A cross of cigarette butts.
In my past, prayer has helped in many ways. Some day in three future I’ll be sure to post a listing of my answered prayers. Now, I pray before a cig. Praying helped 23 years ago when I quit drinking. Took learning how my Burnett’s Cherry Vodka fueled my epileptic seizures for me to put the lid on it.
Now as far as my mental health goes. I have depression and receiving comments makes me feel as though I’m being productive, which brings joy and happiness into my brain, ya know.
See, I could care less if I think your comment sucks. I’ll still be happy that you wrote something because I can never predict how someone else will be impacted, influenced, or inspired to do something completely different.
SEE NOW: the person who wrote about checking out pictures of cancerous lips and gums, cataracts, bleeding necks, etc. There was no suggestion to bunch those photos together & force yourself to see it THROUGHOUT THE DAY. This was easy to put together, & is already killing the cravings.
Ask me, they should stick a nasty photo on every pack of cigs. Say along with the Government Warning:
OR
Make the bad or good news more immediate, which may require educating the public, and people will not only listen but act. Understand everyone dies but that is off in the future or right around the corner. A universal fate is not much of a menace. You can live longer without needing a little blue pill & having a lot more fun is a much bigger deterrent. Guarantee those in puberty will never light up.
By the way OSHA’s web site said:
Carbon monoxide is harmful when breathed because it displaces oxygen in the blood and deprives the heart, brain and other vital organs of oxygen. Large amounts of CO can overcome you in minutes without warning — causing you to lose consciousness and suffocate.
In other words, can cause early erectile dysfunction.
This is based on a very simple concept from when I quit drinking. Alcohol caused seizures. Seizures are Satanic, and I hate them. Consequently, I hate Burnets’, McCormick’s, or Tito’s wicked vodkas. (When I drank it, I hated it. Couldn’t afford anything else.)
Smoking can also leads to dementia or Alzheimer’s Syndrome. I saw those with it, and at 56, has become my biggest deterrent. I quit for just over two weeks. Then a week ago I became annoyed & stressed out. I picked up a pack as a result and then a second. I’m planning on quitting again but know I need a better plan as firing one any time I’m grouchy will not cut it.
If you haven’t guessed, I can pray and play. I am bipolar and currently in remission, I’ve been told. I would love it if I in someway fueled the launching of an Amnesty International-style campaign verses governmental enactments, like worthless Surgeon General’s Warnings. Just something to think about.
Lastly for anyone who followed along before, this blog is simply a hobby and it is going to be a complete variety: I’m going to discuss quitting smoking. I’ve only tried about 4,500,00 times. Depression of course, along with bi-polar, epilepsy, spirituality, quotes I love, anything I feel like, and also disgustingly hand drawn cartoons. They’re all crooks. I’ll be sure to annoy everyone equally. Keeping myself busy is again the main objective and hopefully to entertain & inspire someone in the international inhabitants of the internet to do something meaningful. I’m currently in a manic phase and only smoked have gone two days without a cigarette today.
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other causes for prejudice by noon.
This is from George Aiken, former Governor of Vermont, U.S. Senator from 1941 to 1975, and horticulturist
I just love this quote because it’s so true. Although, Governor George really should not get much credit. First time I read it an old Star Trek episode came to mind.
The left & white folks were the “evil race,” the left & black faced clansmen were their “Aryans”.Absolutely Nothing.
The point: I do something I enjoy that puts a smile on my face – even if it’s stupid.
Today, not only did I write a silly post, but I actually posted it.
I never would have guessed Michael Jackson and the future President Donald Trump met with each other
Despite being a hit songwriter, I imagine most people thought of him as an eccentric. Especially after switching his race by plastic surgery before writing & singing “It don’t matter if you’re white or black.”
Then I read this short blurb:
And I remember going to the record studio and there was a park across the street and I’d see all the children playing and I would cry because it would make me sad that I would have to work instead. -Michael Jackson
I think it’s safe to say that everyone has something, which caused them to fall into depression. Perhaps, Michael J. had something even harsher.
I was headstrong, impudent, and foolhardy, but I did my best to reach out to people in the refugee camps. Priests, who I was assigned to assist, did not give me any directions. They did, however, say that the camps were very dangerous, especially because I was carrying a 35 m.m. camera and for the fact that the refugees were run out of the Eastern side of Nicaragua by U.S. backed Contras.
These were some of the kids that I helped and photographed.
I was sent for a three year assignment and only lasted there months. I continually called myself a “loser” and a “dumbass”. My alcoholic use was magnified as my self destructive side took over. I quickly started hating myself more than anyone, and in the end, I became suicidal. My trip to Nicaragua truly amplified my problems.
Nicaragua was not the true origin of my depressions. However that experience extended and amplified my mental discontent. I just thank God that my demeanor turned around.
“A young fool thinks himself to be wise, but an old wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
Essentially as I aged, I made more and more mistakes, which led to me becoming overly depressed. I didn’t need anyone to beat me up or put me down. I, unintentionally, downgraded myself.
After a few years of mishaps, I became confident that my brain (or wisdom) was founded in stupidity. Everything in my life seemed to end in disasters. However as I aged while making dire decisions, I hit my lowest point.
Fortunately, I finally recognized my need for help, which was wise.
A fool who asks for help is wise. If you put yourself down you will never get up.
Went to a McD.’s, ordered breakfast, and then was told my card was declined.
“What?” was my initial response.
I instantly did the math regarding my account and smiled, “Well that sucks.”
Fortunately, my bank was a couple of blocks away, so I walked down there. I went to the teller to learn that there was in fact enough money in my account for several McDonald’s breakfasts.
I was then directed to a customer service associate, who asked if I had taken any trips to Montreal, or New Delhi.
“Huh? Well, I’ve been to the Missouri State capital but no other countries,” I answered.
Basically somebody hacked my account and I thanked the bankers who froze my account.
The point of this tale is simple:
I was actually happy that I didn’t freak out.
In the past, I have reacted like a firecracker in a gallon of gasoline, just explosive. I stayed calm and can only guess my anger control was due to praying for about 15 minutes a day.
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
In truth at first, I was a narcissist, prideful jerk. In my mind, I could easily see the moral decay of all those around me, while I was neglecting my sins.
Yes, I knew somehow, someway, I was destined to deliver peace, love by promoting prayer and there by save this world 🌎 from a Satanic 👹 demise. (Okay, maybe not that far-fetched, but I do have one heck of an imagination.)
This is where the Charlie Sheen aspect of my life flared up. Having sex continually with a variety of women was actually a symptom of depression.
As mentioned, hypersexuality may also be linked to depression and anxiety. Some individuals may avoid difficult emotions, such as sadness or shame, and seek temporary relief by engaging in sexual behavior. Sexual cravings, therefore, can mask other issues such as depression, anxiety, and stress. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/hypersexuality-sex-addiction
I prayed the Catholic rosary daily, all the while ignoring all the women I went through.
I was sober. I successfully stopped drinking, but everything else in my life seemed awful. It just seemed like the only things I could do was stay sober and have sex with random women.
Then the hammer fell.
I got fired. I couldn’t afford cheap dates, but worse yet, I got sick of myself. I’ve always been a spiritual person and just using women made me feel like a wicked, vile, corrupt person.
I started praying the same Rosary again. However, in the back of my mind, I still felt like something was missing. For whatever reason, I felt like I needed to make my own set of prayers. In the end, I made my own.
This is based on a one decade Rosary-like bracelet and Tibetan Prayer Beads, so I could slide them while praying.
I took verses from the Bible, then a variety of prayers, and wrote some myself by incorporating a few words into someone’s work. For an example:
I found St Mother’s Theresa’s Humility List which with a couple of tweaks fashioned it into a prayer.
I then took up reading quotes regarding prayers and ways to pray. In time, I was inspired to find what worked best for me. Links to those sites follow these quotes.
I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us, and we change things. -St. Mother Theresa
“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go.” Abraham Lincoln
“Always respond to every impulse to pray. The impulse to pray may come when you are reading or when you are battling with a text. I would make an absolute law of this – always obey such an impulse.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones
“Wishing will never be a substitute for prayer.” Ed Cole
God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers. A.P.J. Abdul Kabob
“Prayer is the raising of one’s mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God.” – St. John Damascene
“It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without heart.” – Mahatma Gandhi
My cute kitty is Francis but could have been named Leonardo because he’s so cute or Ivan the Horrible due to his claws & fangs.
I have often wondered if he is a Bipolar cat or somehow addicted to attention. This is all because he can flip from being cute, friendly, and softly, continually purring.
Then bam! He’s nipping at my hand that was petting him, and he’s hissing his head off like a venomous snake ready to strike & kill.
I can only guess that some cats enjoy the caressing, handling, or touching, but have some limits. If they’re messed with too much, they attack. This addictive limit I imagine is purely hypothetical for cats.
However, I can remember when I drank (25 years ago). “Too much of what I wanted” was definitely bad, just like my semi-feral cat be petted too much can be bad and painful.
Francis can inflict a lot of pain and draw gallons of blood with those claws.
Two and half decades ago, I would be happy, having fun at a bar with my friends, and then get a cold shoulder from a female. With most frigid responses, my mood would take a nose dive. I would normally be debilitated, deviled, & depressed. Sometimes I would get angry, run my mouth, but always collapse before waking up with a traumatizing hang over.
The point of this story is simple.
Now I realize, that comparing a cat who attacks the hand that pets him to alcohol abuse is a complete and utter stretch. Bear with me.
With Francis, I have a squirt bottle to hose his butt down whenever his evil side breaks lose. With the booze, I looked in the mirror, and said to myself, “Yes, I want to quit.” I then joined a self-help group and got help. There was a lot more to it than just talking to a mirror. There was of course a lot of work, honesty, and therapy. With each sober day, I felt more energized, self-confident, and much less depressed. The long days grew into rough years.
NOW FOR MY CAT: since there are no self-help groups for cats, is there anyone with advice on things to do with a sadistic feline – barring being declawed? Please comment if you know a secret.
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?
I’m planning an autumn trip to invade Washington DC. I’ve already made it a tenth of the way across Mid-Missouri.
I’ve totaled every car I’ve owned, which inspired me to give up driving. My insurance bill was another inspiration also. I then started walking to most places around town.
The one positive aspect to my lack of driving and being forced to walk is my loss of weight. I’ve also wondered.
I live in mid-Missouri. 1st I would bike 20 or 30 miles on local trails. Then I would speed up the Katy Trail to Kansas City or St Louis before trying to go to out-of-state relatives. Eventially I plan on invading Washington D.C. if Biden or Trump get elected. I’m actually voting for Nikki and Hillary, while insisting to be their Vice.
Much of the Katy Trail in Missouri runs along the Missouri River. It’s beautifully breathtaking. It makes me stop to enjoy the scenery, while chugging down some Kool Aid laced H20.
Okay enough with all those shenanigans in 25 words or more, whizzes with websites say that all exercising is good but exercising outdoors is better. It’s the cherry on top of the steak.
For example, I had a coworker, Bennie, who was a real dingbat, annoyed me to no end. Well Dingbat Bennie says we had to bag the shoppers groceries in paper bags, and I wanted to scream, “Ever hear, ‘the customer’s always right?’ moron! Customers get a choice! Plastic or Paper!”
I held my anger inside, instead, and my rage was volcanic by the time I clocked out.
Oh, the drama is stagnating, I know. See here, Bennie was NOT management. He was a just a skinny, little weasel. How dare he try to tell me how to behave.
Once on my bike, I cranked up Metallica and exploded at top spreed. I lived eight tenths of a mile from Schmukers Groceries, but I erupted all the way home and zipped around red lights and past essentially parked cars.
Yeah I was hot. My sweat was sparkling but oddly by the time I hit the homestead no thought of Bennie bounced inside my brain.
However, don’t take my word on it. I’m no pro. I’m just offering my experience. What follows are chunks of all my Googling with links to their contributions. They’re from National Library of Health, Mind, Nature, WebMD, and Michagen State University. They chit-chat about numerous physical and mental health benefits for folks with mild and moderate depression, such as anxiety, mental clarity, motivation, attention, memory, concentration, and may decrease depressive symptoms in those with clinical depression.
The most consistent finding suggests that walks in natural environments may decrease depressive symptoms in patients with clinical depression. Less researched interventions, such as psychotherapy delivered in a forest or access to natural environments via virtual reality, may also be effective. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9104582/
Spending time in nature has been found to help with mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. For example, research into ecotherapy (a type of formal treatment which involves doing activities outside in nature) has shown it can help with mild to moderate depression. This might be due to combining regular physical activity and social contact with being outside in nature. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/nature-and-mental-health/how-nature-benefits-mental-health/
It is well known that exercise increases cognitive function. However, the environment in which the exercise is performed may be just as important as the exercise itself. Time spent in natural outdoor environments has been found to lead to increases in cognition similar to those resulting from acute exercise. Therefore, the benefits of both exercise and nature exposure suggest an additive impact on brain function when both factors are combined. This raises the question: what is the interaction between acute exercise and environment on cognition? Our results demonstrate improved performance and an increase in the amplitude of the P300, an event-related neural response commonly associated with attention and working memory, following a 15-min walk outside; a result not seen following a 15-min walk inside. Importantly, this finding indicates that the environment may play a more substantial role in increasing cognitive function such as attention than exercise, at least in terms of acute exercise (i.e., a brief walk). https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-26093-2
Take exercise outside to nature if you want greater benefits, including mental clarity and motivation, new research into “green exercise” suggests. One study, published in Nature, says the neurological effects of physical activity in nature include better working memory and concentration. College students performed better after outdoor study breaks than indoor versions, said Katherine Boere, a neuroscience doctoral candidate at the University of Victoria, who worked on that study. The natural world calms people and can quiet distracting chatter of the mind. https://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/news/20230412/exercise-is-even-better-in-nature-research-says
Michigan State University Extension acknowledges that even simple physical activity like walking can help keep you healthy. Studies show that participating in regular physical activity reduces blood pressure, blood sugar levels and helps with maintaining a healthy weight. In addition, interacting with nature on a daily basis has been shown improve mental health by reducing levels of stress, anxiety and even improving symptoms of depression. Green exercise, which is considered as any physical activity that takes place outside, has been shown to improve both physical and mental health. Green exercise can include a variety of activities such as gardening, cycling, walking, flying kites, walking a pet, hiking local trails or participating in a neighborhood project like planting flowers. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/green_exercise_can_improve_physical_and_mental_health
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