Peter walking on a turbulent sea and me worried about starting a blog and an eviction
On Sunday, 8/13/17, the Gospel reading was about Jesus walking on water and Peter joining him, only to become fearful and sink. The homily was about Christians rushing into some virtuous endeavor without thinking about the consequences. What I heard from the reading was Peter needed more faith, but also from the homily, the blog I want to start may need some more preparation. Don’t think I am down playing the homily, but the reading said to me, “Have faith in God, and don’t worry.”
The irony of what I felt is amazing. I have epilepsy, and had a bad seizure at work on a Thursday. Then the following Saturday, I left work early because of a mental breakdown fearing another one. Essentially, I was feeling sorry for myself. Basically I left work early twice in one week, and then I received an eviction letter in the mail. I get paid once a week. Thankfully, I had paid half my rent in person, before their notice was mailed. I was however $100 short.
I was deathly afraid that the week where I didn’t work all of my hours was the one check that I thought I may receive before I had to leave. I had spent extra money on my daughter’s birthday, during this time. Funny, no matter, I wanted to worry but some how knew that regardless of what happened, I would be fine. I could go into extreme details to explain why, I knew I shouldn’t worry. Part of Peter was however inside me and I would not let myself rest in the trust that all would be fine. Of course, I couldn’t see into the future but half of me wanted to be restful while the material side of me was worried.
Now here’s the strange part, a coworker talked about how she saved all the quarters in her purse in a piggy bank and used it to buy Christmas gifts for her daughter. I followed her path. I wrote the check without fully balancing my checkbook. I had actually planned on giving the quarters to my landlord.
Later I also became fearful that I would be overdrawn. I rushed to the bank before work and deposited the $13 from my collection, knowing that this would guarantee no overdrawn fees. Low and behold, once the check would clear I would have $1.83 left. No need to be fearful. I still deposited the broken piggy bank cash. My mind was more at rest but a lingering fearful tinge stayed in the back of my mind.
I made it to work and told a manager about my concerns and she looked up the week that I had my seizure. She assured me that the prior week had been paid the week prior. Have faith and don’t worry.
#God, #Scripture, #Prayer, #Blog, #Eviction, #Epilepsy,