Quizing God

This is not something I recommend. I’m no spiritual scholar, seer, or genius. Plus, I’ve done absolutely no research into the plausibility of having a Divinity examination. In fact, I’m mentally ill in several different ways. Quizing the Almighty in some way, some how, or some form just seems to be a bad idea. However, praying daily has greatly helped my daily life.

Anyway asking God in a rushed, thoughtless, conversational tone, I flat out said, “Okay, God if you help me successfully drill a straight, long hole through this tiny twig and I’ll have completed faith in you.”

Now hold on! Before anyone scoffs at me, it should be noted that I immediately said to myself, “Oh sure Ted. Hey Jesus, it’s your midterms. You’ll probably drill a hole in your thumb.” I’ve made millions upon millions of beads. I’ve been sober for 20 years and the first 3 of those were spent carving beads. Wood working, specifically carving, was my replacement hobby for alcohol. (The reasons behind this will follow this post.) Most beads are done quite easily, but Wednesday, Sept. 25, I was just pushing myself to try to drill into smaller twigs than normal. My drill bit blasted through the side enough times that the ridiculous prayer came racing out of my mouth, followed by the mental scolding.

However, I have to admit that I prayed harder, and my concentration and focus was completely locked on my drill & the twig than before or after this one when I put God to the exam. (I include this sentence only for the atheist, agnostic, and the sake of faith. Your faith cannot be based on someone else’s reasons.)

The bead in the photo is the only one from that section of the branch which turned out successfully. The inserted photo is the finished product.

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#test #quiz #exam #midterm #examination #God #Lord #Almighty #god #Jesus, #faith #reason #reasons #beads #wood #woodcarving #wood_carving #carver #carving

Money v. God: Love?

Money is a necessity. There’s no debate on this. I was fearing being evicted and found a $50 dollar bill right off the sidewalk of my apartment. I prayed for help the night before finding it, reminding myself that if God takes care of the birds of the air than I would assuredly be taken care of. (Matthew 6:26) However I didn’t specify what that help should be. I left that in God’s hands, and rarely pray for anything specific myself. I feel strongly that a servant should not dictate desires to his master. Obviously, what is most important in my life is not chasing the almighty dollar. It’s just trying to figure out why God put me (& kept me) on this planet. (I’ve owned about 20 cars & totalled every one. Plus two experiences in my life were nearly deadly.) Also with the mental illnesses that I have material security is meaningless. I need much more than cash in the bank to feel safe and secure. I could easily be a millionaire who commits suicide. I can only pray for help and so far I have always been happily satisfied.

Ecclesiastes 5:10: He who loves money will not be satisfied with money; nor he who loves wealth, with gain: this also is vanity.

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#love #money #God #loveofmoney #loveofGod #love_of_God #love_of_money #prayer #meditation #Eternity #death #life #pray #mental #illness #mental_illnesses #illnesses #material #security #spiritual #Biblical #site #Ecclesiastes #Bible #quote #quotes #Gospel

To Be Noticed Don’t Stay In A Cloud.

Being in a fog can be nice as long as you don’t want to be noticed or stand out. However if you want to make a difference in your life or anywhere, you have to have the courage to step outside your zone of comfort (or at least that’s what I read at https://www.movemequotes.com/comfort-zone-quotes/). I’m planning on making some changes to my life, which has caused a lot of stress. I also started meditating and praying if I should or could follow my dreams. I had read a passage from that website and started praying when I got outside. Then I saw that cloud formation, where I came up with that idea. I got a hunch I will. It’ll be wet and messy. However even if I don’t, I’m confident that my life will be stinking and chaotic anyway.

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#individual #comfort #zone_of_comfort #dream #courage #clouds #cloud #stand_out #standing_out #prayer #pray #prayers #meditation #meditations #dreams #goals #goal #individualization #quote #quotes #difference #life #chaotic #life #choices #life_choices

Light at the End of the Tunnel

If you have a goal, which you plan on vigorously pursuing, you should plan on dealing with any trouble or problems that arise. Falling or collapsing is never a failure, unless it is followed by a complete retreat and reversal. Rising from muddy, swampy water but pushing forward demonstrates competence, strength, and courage.

Examples: I went to Nicaragua on a Catholic mission trip, and I only lasted three months. It was a three year assignment. I considered myself a complete failure. I drank myself into a pit filled with depression and self absorption.

Then ten years or so later, I was about to lose my job and my wife was divorcing me, due to my untreated mental and medical health problems. By this time, I was eight years sober. I didn’t start drinking and I did nothing to harm myself. Nevertheless, I seriously considered commiting suicide, and therefore sought help by admitting myself into a psychiatric hospital. My prayers were finally answered and after countless psychiatric sessions, I was finally receiving the treatment I needed. It was a long hard road. First, I had to swallow my pride and take a firmer grasp of true humility. Secondly, I had to be honest and open with my doctors and therapists. Lastly, I found a support group that fit my needs. In the end, I was glad to make it to that light.

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#goal #trouble #failure #falling #retreat #reversal #proceeding #strength #rising #confidence #competence #strength #mental #illness #mental_illness #alcohalic #sober #sobriety #depression #ego #self_absorbed #pride #humility #honesty #prayers #pray #open #openess #humble #honest #quote #depression

Gratitude v. Pride

Gratitude (for me, at least) helps keep me stay stable and maintain a sense of inner peace. Pride meanwhile sets my mind for a stress filled, anxious and exasperated.

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#gratitude #happiness #charity #blessedness #pride #anger #hatred #greed #inner #peace #innerpeace #inner_peace #stable #stability #stress #anxious #exasperated

No good way to deliver bad news

Bad news is no fun for those giving it or receiving it.

This actually happened and I had to tell multiple customers that the deal that was advertised had a little step, which was not completely obvious. The great deals were written in big, bold language but the fact that $25 had to be spent was much smaller and not printed large & loud in the ad. Upsetting people and having some angry customers was no fun but part of the job. Currently, I am looking for a job outside of the retail world.

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#cartoon #upset #people #upsetting_people #bad #news #badnews #bad_news #no_fun #angry #customers #retail #retail_sales #sales #quote

Stay Positive

Remembering the difficulties that Helen Keller dealt with and how she stayed positive, makes me put my mental health problems in perspective.

I tell myself: Just keep trying and don’t give up. Don’t put yourself down & slip into depression. Focus on your positives and stay up.

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#sun #shadows #quote #Helen_Keller #mental #illness #mental_illness #mentalillness #positives #shadows #HelenKeller #depression

The Affect of Seizures

I’ve fought epileptic seizures, specifically Focal Epilepsy, and anxiety attacks since I was a child. I never understood them and only recently started understanding the full implications of them. Now because of a daily prayer regiment, I feel much better.

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#epilepsy, #focal_epilepsy, #seizures, #epileptic_seizures #prayer, #daily_prayer #prayer