My mind was in a haze of overall despair and only slowly felt like I was coming to life. I forgot the two things that truly bummed me out the night before. I prayed over my problems, & placed them in God’s hands. I resolved to be patient and told myself that everything would work out.
Bear in mind in the morning, I knew those two things were manageable, and were not causing any amount of conscious stress. I believe it was a case of subconscious depression smog and despair or anxiety.
Then the incredible happened my issue #1 was happily resolved, as expected.
Then a surprising thing happened. A friend called, and we chatted for about 15 minutes. Just a casual call eradicated my empty feelings. I was essentially spending the day alone, but I did have some goals for myself.
After the call I made a priority list of my goals. I then accomplished all but one of my goals. Essentially, my home was cleaner than it had been for a week and a half. A black cat’s fur is visible in every nook and cranny.
My last goal was writing this blog post. This is when the fumes of depression returned. Essentially I thought I was broke and wouldn’t be able to cover my bills. I figured I would have to live on $5 for a week. However, rent must be in on the 7th of each month and I got paid on the 7th. Therefore, it wasn’t as bad as I imagined – or wanted to believe. In short, it wasn’t perfect.
Then the predicable happened due to my poor arithmetic skills. Basically I didn’t add up & subtract my bills and assets correctly. Everything is fine, and in my humble lifestyle, this past month has turned out “perfect”. Maybe not great for anyone else, but I’m not bitching.
I’ve read depression compared to any number of things. This is mine. It comes in varying degree but it never leaves. Depression is not simply being sad over something.
T Circled 